"Rituals" (2018)

Wake lyrics - Deaf Havana

You can fall, you can fall
You can fall, you can fall
You can fall, you can fall

Sinner lyrics - Deaf Havana

I'm so pathetic for ever thinking I'd change
When there are pieces of my past that I conveniently erased
I fell in over my head, you wouldn't understand
And now my brain is just a tired mess of all the things I've abandoned

And you should know, you never were an exception
I think I shut you out as a form of protection
Now there's an empty space that's growing in my head and in my home
Starting to show, I thought you should know

You can fall to your knees and pray
'Cause I'm a sinner now and I won't be saved
I've been lying to you more each day
'Cause I'm a sinner now and all my sins I've found
They won't wash away

I let you down, it's what I always do best
I found my way under your skin and somehow crept into your chest
There's all the hours I wasted trying hard to fool you
Well they were never enough, never enough to hide all the pain I put you through

(Wash away your sins)

You can fall to your knees and pray
'Cause I'm a sinner now and I won't be saved
I've been lying to you more each day
'Cause I'm a sinner now and all my sins I've found
They won't wash away

I should be living the life and not tryna fight it
Instead of giving it up I'm just tryna hide it

You can fall to your knees and pray
'Cause I'm a sinner now and I won't be saved
(I won't be saved)
I've been lying to you more each day (More each day)
'Cause I'm a sinner now, I'm a sinner now
(A sinner now)

You can fall to your knees and pray
'Cause I'm a sinner now and I won't be saved
I've been lying to you more each day
'Cause I'm a sinner now and all my sins I've found
They won't wash away

You can fall to your knees and pray
'Cause I'm a sinner now and I won't be saved
(I won't be saved)
I've been lying to you more each day (Been lying to you more each day)
'Cause I'm a sinner now, I'm a sinner now
(Fall to your knees and pray)

You can fall to your knees and pray
'Cause I'm a sinner now and I won't be saved
I've been lying to you more each day
'Cause I'm a sinner now, I'm a sinner now

Ritual lyrics - Deaf Havana

I left you alone by the roadside
I should've noticed it was all pride
That kept me from seeing you're a lost soul
Sinking deeper
Maybe the darkness took hold of me
Maybe I'm just scared of reality
To tell you the truth I've never felt so lost
I'm getting weaker
Slipping deeper

And I never said I'd be the one
So I'm letting you go, yeah I'm letting you go
And I never said I'm holding on
So I'm letting you go, 'cause it's better to know
Lately this is nothing more than a ritual between me and you
'Cause I never said I'm holding on
So I'm letting you go
Yeah I'm letting you go

We spoke about mostly the life in our heads
But all I could see was your bed
And somehow it left me feeling alone
But it's not just my fault
You keep pulling me in when you know that I'm easy involved
And my head's fucked, like a drunk I fell hard at your feet
And it's hard to believe, I believe every word that you wrote

And I never said I'd be the one
So I'm letting you go, yeah I'm letting you go
And I never said I'm holding on
So I'm letting you go, 'cause it's better to know
Lately this is nothing more than a ritual between me and you
'Cause I never said I'm holding on
So I'm letting you go

And I said something stupid like
"Fill my veins with poison, I'm so tired of all the noise"
'Cause if I go I'll go out now with silent grace and poise
'Cause I'm always broke and I'm almost broken

And I never said I'd be the one
So I'm letting you go, yeah I'm letting you go
And I never said I'm holding on
So I'm letting you go, 'cause it's better to know
Lately this is nothing more than a ritual between me and you
'Cause I never said I'm holding on
So I'm letting you go

Hell lyrics - Deaf Havana

Do you remember when you woke up in that t-shirt you found
At the back of my bedroom underneath all your doubts
That you had in your head, oh they were there all along
But you just couldn't see my dark side with those rose lenses on

And I don't really know what I'm doing
And I'm sorry I put you through this
But I never said I'd treat you right

I told you I wish I could see you
I guess I was lonely
You chose to ignore what I said
Well I guess you just know me

And oh you feel low right now
3AM pouring out your soul right now
3AM wishing I could hold you now
Oh I should you tell you how

I just don't really know what I'm doing
And I'm sorry I put you through this
But I never said I'd treat you right
(Well I never said I'd treat you right)
But I never said I'd treat you right

But I never said I'd treat you right

Just as I woke up
Put your face to the back of my mind
Told myself I was feeling fine
But then you call me up
And said that we don't talk
But when we do I'm just crossing the line
But it felt good at the time
Oh oh, it should be me instead
But I guess it's just you were the fool because I never said I'd...

But I never said I'd treat you right

But I never said I'd treat you right

I never said I'd treat you right

I still remember when you woke up in that t-shirt you found
At the back of my bedroom underneath all your doubts
That you had in your head, oh they were there all along
You said I didn't have a dark side, you were wrong

Oh I never said I'd treat you right
I never said I'd treat you right
'Cause I can never treat you right, oh

Holy lyrics - Deaf Havana

I was a liar
I'll never be holy in your eyes
But you'll never be either
Cause I know that underneath your smile
Hide the nights that you regret
And the days you can't forget
Cause you know me
And we'll never be holy

I been keeping to myself
And looking back over my shoulder
Trying to live my life just like somebody else
And forget all the empty words I told you

And unless these demons follow me home
It's easy to bury the guilt on my own
Now my fears will finally swallow me whole
Cause I wasn't honest
And you never wanted to admit that

I was a liar
I'll never be holy in your eyes
But you'll never be either
Cause I know that underneath your smile
Hide the nights that you regret
And the days you can't forget
Cause you know me
And we'll never be holy

It's a sickness I can't seem to shake
Until I wake up alone and ashamed
Or a tie that I'm too scared to break
In case I'm drunk and I need you again

I was never the one
I was always just easy
And you were only enough to follow through
Maybe when you're alone
And you look in the mirror
You can feel in love as I do

Just unless these demons follow you home
It's easy to bury the guilt on your own
Now your fears will finally swallow you whole
But I wasn't honest
And you never wanted to admit that

I was a liar
I'll never be holy in your eyes
But you'll never be either
Cause I know that underneath your smile
Hide the nights that you regret
And the days you can't forget
Cause you know me
And we'll never be holy

And we'll never be holy
No we'll never be holy
Cause the nights that you regret
And the days you can't forget
Leave you lonely
And we'll never be holy

I'll always be a mess if I keep living this way
Despite all of my flaws I still hope you're okay
I don't know if I can honestly say
That it's getting better
But at least together
We were holy

Saviour lyrics - Deaf Havana

I'm scared of talking in my sleep 'most every night
In case my conscious has a change of heart and suddenly decides
To let her know the darkest secrets I keep bottled up inside
Maybe it's time I found a better place to hide
Or just somebody to confide in, yeah

I was never holding on to anything more than a memory of you
'Cause every time you proved me wrong I ended up drunk and afraid of
What I'd become, undone, I should be ashamed for thinking I can save you
For thinking I can save you
I'll never be your saviour

I must be broken 'cause I saw myself in you
And every fleeting fragile moment that you somehow struggled through
'Cause even now I still find comfort in the corners of your mind
It's been killing me for years but somehow keeping me alive

I was never holding on to anything more than a memory of you
'Cause every time you proved me wrong I ended up drunk and afraid of
What I'd become, undone, I should be ashamed for thinking I can save you
For thinking I can save you
I'll never be your saviour
I'll never be your saviour

ANd you say if we're talking bout love
And if I'm so lonely
Then why don't you love me like I do
If we're talking 'bout trust
Then how can you trust me
Is it just me, whoa-oh-oh

I was never holding on to anything more than a memory of you
'Cause every time you proved me wrong I ended up drunk and afraid of
What I'd become, undone, I should be ashamed for thinking I can save you
For thinking I can save you
I'll never be your saviour (become undone)
I'll never be your saviour (become undone)

Fear lyrics - Deaf Havana

Tell me am I on your mind
'Cause I'm struggling to keep you off mine
I'm losing sleep, we're losing time
As reality's becoming a lie

With all of the chances and all of the favors
And all of the people who helped get me by
You think that I'd wanna make a better impression
I'm somebody who they can't rely

I tried to run and wait it out
But I've become a mess of doubts
And I know I'm hard to be around
When I'm down and now

You know you're killing me with love
And I'm just using up your trust
I treat your love like it's a drug
'Cause I'm addicted to the rush, oh

And there's always a moment I know I'm alone
Lose control and a hold of myself
I'm a wreck when I'm here, all my fears reappear
And it's clear that I'm really not well

I tried to run and wait it out
But I've become a mess of doubts
And I know I'm hard to be around
When I'm down and now

You know you're killing me with love
And I'm just using up your trust
I treat your love like it's a drug
'Cause I'm addicted to the rush, oh

Too much, it's always too much
I'm addicted to the rush, oh yeah
Too much, it's always too much
'Cause I'm addicted to your love, oh

Tell me am I on your mind
'Cause I can't seem to get you off mine
Tell me am I on your mind, oh no

You know you're killing me with love
And I'm just using up your trust
I treat your love like it's a drug
'Cause I'm addicted to the rush, oh

Too much, it's always too much
I'm addicted to the rush, oh yeah
Too much, it's always too much
'Cause I'm addicted to your...

Pure lyrics - Deaf Havana

I think I might've killed you
Or at the very least I wore you down
You don't always need to
Call me up when I'm in town
But it's just too easy
To lose track of morals in those rooms that we don't own
And it all comes down to fear of being alone

I'm devastated, I'm wasted
I'm trying hard to contain it
But I'm too burnt out and dying for a change

Pure
You look so pure
And there's something in your eyes that looks so pure

I remember walking home with you, fucked up
And drink spilled down my shirt
You weren't in love with me, just with my words
And I shouldn't have to be the one who
Admits that I was wrong
'Cause you were wrong too
But I come crawling back to you

So medicated, I'm wasted
You're trying hard just to hate me
And I know you burned out praying things don't change

Pure
You look so pure
And there's something in your eyes that looks so pure
You know there's something in your eyes that looks so pure

I think I might've killed you
At the very least I wore you down
You don't always need to
Call me up when I'm around
And I almost killed you
I can see you slowly breaking down
You don't always need to
Call me up when I'm in town

And you're devastated, then wasted
Think of trying hard to contain it
When I'm too burned out and dying for a change

Pure
You look so pure
And there's something in your eyes that looks so pure
You know there's something in your eyes that looks so pure

Something in your eyes that looks so...

Evil lyrics - Deaf Havana

Pure evil is running through my veins
It's always been a part of me I can never explain
I made people fall in love with the way I made them feel
I found the cracks in their broken souls before they could heal

And it was pure evil (Running through my veins)
And it was pure evil (Killing me again)

I hurt you in a way I can never forgive myself for
I left you on a tray and pretended that you never existed at all
I know that I confused all the feelings I had
For more than just a way of trying to bury the past
And I'm sorry it was you that I fooled
Now I'm lying in a hotel room
I'm lying in a hotel room

I found a way to become whoever you needed in that one
Moment of vulnerability, it's gone but you're still in me

And it was pure evil (Running through my veins, killing me again)

I hurt you in a way I can never forgive myself for
I'm might've taking all the chances you really had to carry a name on
I've been holding it together, tryna bury the pain
But underneath the surface I'm the mess, I'm a stain
And I'm sorry that it had to be you
Now you're lying in a hotel room
Yeah you're lying in a hotel room

Heaven lyrics - Deaf Havana

There's someone dancing through my head, it's not her
I feel so foolish that I let it get this far
These things ain't real and I'm not home
And all the alcohol ain't helping my soul to heal, no-oh

'Cause when I'm with you, I feel so alive
Despite the mistakes I've made I lose all track of time
But when I'm with you I keep losing my mind
And all the mistakes I've made still leave me up inside

And is this heaven
And is this heaven
Or hell I'm living in
If this is heaven
If this is heaven
Then hell comes from within

I always had a way with words and
I used it for myself, didn't care who else along the way got hurt
And now I'm censoring the lines between what I know is wrong
And moving on from all these countless nights

Oh, she'll talk to you low key
And you act like you know me
But you don't know me at all, no

'Cause when I'm with you, I feel so alive
Despite the mistakes I've made I lose all track of time
But when I'm with you I keep losing my mind
And all the mistakes I've made still leave me up inside

And is this heaven
And is this heaven
Or hell I'm living in
If this is heaven
If this is heaven
Then hell comes from within

'Cause I'm moving in on moving on
Moving in on moving on
Moving in on moving on
Moving in on moving on
...

Is this heaven
Is this heaven
Or hell I live in
If this is heaven
If this is heaven
Then hell comes from within

Is this heaven
Is this heaven
Or hell I'm living in

Worship lyrics - Deaf Havana

Are you drinking tonight?
If you are, can you talk me through this?
I guess I never felt so lonely and reckless
And I know you ain't no stranger to falling in time
That's the thing
I'm getting high but I'm so low all the time now
Constantly scared of death, that someone'll find out
I'm still the fucked up kid that I was from the start

Well you look better than you ever did
Giving me the eyes before you walked in
Talking that shit about how we fit
Perfectly together
Yeah but everything's a mess when I'm around you
I wish I'd never found you, I wish I'd never found you
'Cause everything's a mess when I'm around you
I wish I'd never found you

'Cause I've been drinking tonight
Just like you said that I would
Quietly hoping for someone to move on
And let their feelings go
That I've been thinking tonight
That I should visit your home
What ever makes you feel less alone
I wish you'd known I was lonely when you told me

Well you look better than you ever did
Giving me the eyes before you walked in
Talking that shit about how we fit
Perfectly together
Yeah but everything's a mess when I'm around you
I wish I'd never found you, I wish I'd never found you
'Cause everything's a mess when I'm around you
I wish I'd never found you

'Cause I was scared that she would know we were doomed
From the start
End every hour brings me closer to breaking apart
'Cause this ain't new
It's just a ritual between me and you
And she don't know the depths I'm in
When do we even begin?

I wish I'd never found you
Better than you ever did
Giving me the eyes before you walked in, talking
I wish I'd never found you
Perfectly together
Yeah 'cause everything's a mess when I'm around you
I wish I'd never found you, I wish I'd never found you

Saint lyrics - Deaf Havana

My eyes glazed and my fingers cold
My body aches, this is getting old
From the first drip to the seventh hole
Ooh, it's hard to quit, this is getting old

All my dreams get soaked in the night
I need some light to keep them dry

Pour me another, light me another
I wish I could be a saint like my mother
'Cause we live the same, we die the same way
I would be proud to call you my brother
Yeah I would be proud to call you my brother

Oh his heart's asleep but it's all I've known
And it hurts to speak, this is getting old
From morning sun to the evening glow
I'm a nervous wreck, this is getting old

All my dreams get soaked in the night
I need some light to keep them dry

Pour me another, light me another
I wish I could be a saint like my mother
'Cause we live the same, we die the same way
I would be proud to call you my brother
('Cause we live the same, we die the same way)
Yeah I would be proud to call you my brother
(We live the same, we die the same way)
(We live the same, we die the same way)
We live the same, yeah we die the same way, oh

Epiphany lyrics - Deaf Havana

I want all my tattoos erased
I want a haircut that fits my face
I want a good job that really pays me
So I can finally act my age
I want a big house in the suburbs
I want two kids, one boy, one girl
I wanna wear a suit and tie to work
And on Sundays take my kids to church
I wanna befriend couples and drink wine
But two glasses, not bottles this time
I wanna work out and watch my waistline
Be faithful for my whole life
All I want is to begin again
But now I'm up here on this ledge
I know at times you wanted to kill me
But let me save you the trouble and feel me

"All These Countless Nights" (2017)

Ashes, Ashes lyrics - Deaf Havana

I was getting sick of the traffic and all of the tickets I couldn't pay
So I sold my car and took the bus back to the corner of Churchfield Way
Where I lost myself in the faces of people I swear I'd met before
Felt like my own feet were someone else's, I couldn't walk straight anymore

If we drive away to the place I love the most
When my lungs collapse and my heart turns black
I'll give my ashes to the coast

I found myself in a fishbowl and I didn't leave my house for a month
What's the point in trying in conversation if you don't have the strength to talk?
"But it's alright" I said, "I'll stay here, lie awake for days
Count the spiders on the ceiling, 'til my mind withers away"

And if we drive away to the place I love the most
When my lungs collapse and my heart turns black
I'll give my ashes to the coast

And I hoped that I would see your face again,
And I hoped that you would be alright
And if I could find a leg to stand on, or something,
Maybe I could take control of my own life

And if I could find a leg to stand on, or something,
Maybe I could take control of my own life

And if we drive away to the place I love the most
When my lungs collapse and my heart turns black
I'll give my ashes to the coast

Give my ashes to the coast
Give my ashes to the coast
Give my ashes to the coast
Give my ashes to the coast

Trigger lyrics - Deaf Havana

So tired, of being tired and drunk and lonely
And I hate myself in the morning
Yeah so much more in the morning

When the guilt swirls in my stomach
And my heart beats through my ears
And all the little things that I ignore, they seem to be more real

I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go
I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go

And all the records
I've been playing, they tell me to stay this way
And all the ones I love give up on me
They try their hardest and fail so miserably

I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go
I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go
My heart was fast but your hand was quicker and we watched it all go
I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go, it all go

My timeline is running out fast
My future will never be my past
And I still can't work out how to make my money last
And all the things I thought that I could be
Get less and less as each new day begins

I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go
I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go
My heart was fast but your hand was quicker and we watched it all go
I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go

I held the gun but you pulled the trigger and we watched it all go

L.O.V.E lyrics - Deaf Havana

As I recall, love
I held you in my gaze for just long enough
To know it's not the time for conversation
Oh this is nothing worth the memory
Of a drunk and your just lonely enough here

I took a step back into the dirt and I'm not proud of myself
And it must be love
That holds me down so well
Cause the guilt that should be eating at my conscience isn't there
I took a step back into the dirt I think I'm crying for help

I recall, love
Not a single word was said between the both of us
As I crept towards the door to let myself out
Oh I tried to wash away the filth
But the images were burning my mind

I took a step back into the dirt and I'm not proud of myself
And it must be love
That holds me down so well
Cause the guilt that should be eating at my conscience isn't there
I took a step back into the dirt I think I'm crying for help
(Crying for help)

And it must be love
Must be love
Must be love
Ooh it must be love

I wake up in a sweat and think it over in my head
It's not me no, it's not me

I took a step back into the dirt and I'm not proud of myself
And it must be love
That holds me down so well
Cause the guilt that should be eating at my conscience isn't there
I took a step back into the dirt I think I'm crying for help

Happiness lyrics - Deaf Havana

I've been dragging out my love over 13 months right now
It's been a year of not believing who I've found
I've been trying out this thing they call happiness for a while
But I never truly cleared my cluttered mind

Because I knew that you'd get sick of all the stupid things I did
And how I never think far enough ahead
'Cause my drinking takes its toll on everybody around me, especially you
It's like a degenerate disease

Because it eats away at everything
But mostly love
And the strength we build between us
And all the time it takes to build the trust right back up
Isn't worth a single drop or glass or anything
And I don't want anything

I've got a liver full of toxins and belly full of fire
And a tendency to lose myself for a while
'Cause all the countless nights I spent cowering in bed
'Cause I can't fight the voice that rings inside my head

Because it eats away at everything
But mostly love
And strength we build between us
And all the time it takes to build the trust right back up
Isn't worth a single drop or glass or anything
And I don't want anything, but you

Because it eats away at everything
But mostly love
And the strength we build between us
And all the time it takes to build the trust right back up
Isn't worth a single drop or glass or anything
I don't want anything

Because it eats away at everything
But mostly love
And the strength we build between us
And all the time it takes to build the trust right back up
Isn't worth a single drop or glass or anything
And I don't want anything, but you

Fever lyrics - Deaf Havana

I broke down through everything and you tried your best
To live through the state I was in oh I know
I remember all those dark days with darker friends when I wouldn't come home
You'll never get back a piece of yourself that I stole

I know you keep it all in your head locked away and I
I can't fight the feeling, I can't fight the feeling inside
It's the little things, oh it's the little things that you hide
Even you can see, I got the fever in me

I was beat down and drunk as hell when I lost my home
I guess I knew what was coming for me then
I saw myself in my mothers eyes and I found some hope
This is not for me to start over again

I know you keep it all in your head locked away and I
I can't fight the feeling, I can't fight the feeling inside
It's the little things, oh it's the little things that you hide
Even you can see, I got the fever in me
I got the fever in me
I got the fever in me
I got the fever in me
I got the fever in me

And I know you keep it all in your head locked away and I
I can't fight the feeling, I can't fight the feeling inside
With a steady hand and a little time you will find
That even you can see, I got the fever in me
I got the fever in me
I got the fever in me
I got the fever in me

Like A Ghost lyrics - Deaf Havana

I, I can't speak
Cause I've been deep inside this bottle now for weeks
And it's hard to sleep, but all my days feel like they're slipping out of reach

I used to be so filled with fire
But over the years I see, they've beaten it out of me
Now all I seem to be is tired
Cause living is killing me, I'm not who I used to be

Lately I've been living like a ghost inside my house
Everything I touch is just crashing down
And all the words I try to say get stuck inside my mouth
I can't find a way to punch them out

I used to be so filled with fire
But over the years I see they've beaten it out of me
Now all I seem to be is tired
Cause living is killing me, I'm not who I used to be

Ooh and it's killing me, I'm not who I used to be
I used to be so filled with fire

I used to be so filled with fire
But over the years I see they've beaten it out of me
Now all I seem to be is tired
Cause living is killing me, I'm not who I used to be

Pretty Low lyrics - Deaf Havana

I've grown to hate myself some days
From lying through my teeth never meaning what I say
So I spend my time inside my head
I dream of ways to lose myself and never leave my bed

I watch the world go by flashing in front of my eyes
Mostly I'm wasting time

I fall in love each day on the train
Every foreign face that pass me by, I'll never see again
I take the same route home that as have for days
Hoping to catch a glimpse or reflection of an old familiar face in the window pane

I watch the world go by flashing in front of my eyes
Mostly I'm wasting time
I've got myself to blame for losing all over again
I've got myself to blame

I fall in love each day on the train
All the foreign faces all the happy faces that I'll never see again
What's the use in all of this?
What's the point in all of this?
And now, in all this time

I watch the world go by flashing in front of my eyes
Mostly I'm wasting time
I've got myself to blame for losing all over again
I've got myself to blame

(Fall in love)
(Fall in love)
(Fall in love)
(Fall in love)
(Fall in love)
(Fall in love)

England lyrics - Deaf Havana

There's a weight that's on my shoulders
An empty space inside
All the things our parents told us
Never truly leave our mind

All that tracks we form as children
And the habits that we build
Only worsen as we get older,
Leave us unfulfilled

All the time that I wasted
Refusing to let you go
From every place I've been to the state I'm in
I needed to let you know, that you're not my home

Would I still feel awkward sober
Around people I don't know?
Would I still not swim in public and hide behind my clothes?

I curse the white skin that I'm covered in
And the country where I was born

All the time I wasted
Refusing to let you go
From every place I've been to the state I'm in
I needed to let you know

Because my mind's made up
And I've had enough from the way that my face turns red
I said my mind's made up
Yeah, I've had enough. Oh, England, get out of my head?

I think I'll move 5000 miles down south towards the sea
'Cause the world isn't old as a vampire. England just might be
'Cause it wears me out, drains the joy,
That I swear that I had when I was a boy,
Maybe that wasn't me.
Just a memory, just a memory.

All the time that I wasted
Refusing to let you go
From every place I've been to the state I'm in
I needed to let you know

Yeah, my mind's made up
And I've had enough from the way that my face turns red
I said my mind's made up
Yeah, I've had enough. Oh, England, get out of my head.
Get out of my head.

Seattle lyrics - Deaf Havana

I miss my mother, the smell of rain
There's a girl I love back home, she shares my pain
I just get so lonely, still I'm to blame
'Cause the life that chose me doesn't know my name

The signs I pass by, 'did Jesus set you free?'
Just helped me realize what kind of country this must be
I made some friends in Arizona but I doubt they'd recognize my face
When the whisky leaves their veins and I'm just a memory they'd replace

Seattle seems so long ago and you're so far away
I've forgotten where my home is and I'm still counting down the days
It's raining back in London town, somewhere in my brain
Is a little piece of my tired mind, it'll never be the same

Somedays I don't feel like opening my eyes
Give me a makeshift backseat bed in this desert life
Nashville feels more like home to me and that's alright
Broadway's not the same in broad day light

Seattle seems so long ago and you're so far away
I've forgotten where my home is and I'm still counting down the days
It's raining back in London town, somewhere in my brain
Is a little piece of my tired mind, it'll never be the same

Give me just a few more hours to gather up my thoughts into the corners of my mind, lift off again
'Cause I've been drinking way too much, that don't make a change, it's just a way for me to numb these lonely days

Seattle seems so long ago and you're so far away
I've forgotten where my home is and I'm still counting down the days
It's raining back in London town, somewhere in my brain
Is a little piece of my tired mind, it'll never be the same

St. Paul's lyrics - Deaf Havana

It was November, and I was a mess
And I was thinking of leaving her back then.
As if by magic, you and I met
And it brought me back to life again.

You've got a certain something about you
And I've got a past I want to leave behind.
It's been a long, long time since I met someone
Who made me happy to be alive.

Now the bell's of St. Paul's ring out in my head
Like the last few words she said.

I can't go back to living in silence.
No, I can't go back to sleeping alone.
All the years she made me live as a liar
Ended up becoming all that I know.

And I know you can't stand winters here.
You said you never felt that kind of cold.
I guess when you're from another hemisphere,
It can sometimes feel like another world.

You've got a way of making me hang on
To every single word you say.
We stay up all night talking shit about
How I needed to get away.

Now the bell's of St. Paul's ring out in my head
Like the last few words she said.

I can't go back to living in silence.
No, I can't go back to sleeping alone.
All the years she made me live as a liar
Ended up becoming all that I know.

You've got a certain something about you.
I've got a past I want to leave behind.

I can't go back to living in silence.
No, I can't go back to sleeping alone.
All the years she made me live as a liar
Ended up becoming all that I know.

All that I know.
All that I know.

Sing lyrics - Deaf Havana

I wasn't striving for jealousy but I always looked good in green, and
the things that I wanted I had all along, I was just too stubborn to see.

And we all just sing along, try to struggle on,
'cause we need it, yeah we need it.
We all just sing along, try to right the wrongs,
'cause we mean it, yeah we mean it.

I could have moved on faster but I'm still stuck on the past and the things we'd do.
I heard you bought a house last month, well good for fucking you.

And we all just sing along, try to struggle on,
'cause we need it, yeah we need it.
We all just sing along, try to right the wrongs,
'cause we mean it, yeah we mean it.

We're gonna sing, like we mean it...

We're gonna sing, like we mean it, 'cause I mean it this time, I know
I took it for granted but I hope I can change my mind!

And we all just sing along, try to struggle on,
'cause we need it, yeah we need it.
We all just sing along, try to right the wrongs,
'cause we mean it, yeah we mean it.

We're gonna sing, like we mean it...

Pensacola, 2013 lyrics - Deaf Havana

It started out with a book that I was carrying with me
"Love is a Dog from Hell" I guess you didn't see the relevance back then
I was a sweaty, tattooed mess
You were like a bull at best
But I knew that we wouldn't be doing this again, oh

And I knew if I let you go to waste
I'd never forgive myself
So I sat back, enjoyed my time
Drinking till the morning
Laughing with your Dad
I knew that his would be the hardest goodbye

And I want you to notice
And I wish you would care
I just wanted to feel like something's there
I just want a reaction
Yeah something to feel
Or a single emotion that seems real

I turn with it all in my head
As I stumbled 'round the city where your Grandfather died
And I got lost in all the alcohol
Open skies and antidotes
Those good ol' boys could charm me all night

And I want you to notice
And I wish you would care
I just wanted to feel like something's there
I just want a reaction
Yeah something to feel
Or a single emotion that seems real

And I was thinking back to that bar in Pensacola
I wonder if my name is still written on the wall
And I was thinking back, oh, to Hugh and Chelsea
Wonder if they're married or still together at all
Still together at all

Still together at all
And I was thinking back to that bar in Pensacola
I wonder if my name is still written on the wall

Cassiopeia lyrics - Deaf Havana

I blacked out ‘til the morning broke,
I was swallowing glass and inhaling smoke,
I lost my mind in a haze of cobbled streets and broken windows.
I managed to get away, for a minute or two,
to catch my breath, just long enough to catch sight of a man with a broken nose and a bandaged leg,
sleeping silently in a photo booth on the road where I caught a cab,
back through the heart of the tourist district and into our rundown, rented pad.

I met a strange girl from Brazil,
she made me laugh for an hour or two and it took me back to the festival where I was sure that I was gonna go (die).
But then I bought a beer from a nice bar lady with the kindest eyes that I’d ever seen,
she said "...take a water too honey, it’s warm outside, we don’t want you dying do we..."

Oh Berlin my love, I’ve got you underneath my skin.
In the early hours of the morning, I can’t help but let you in/win.

I was there talking to you about some of the shit they’d put you through,
and I knew that this could be my chance to get you closer.
So I met you round the back, away from the others,
I was trying to fight off my brother but I knew,
I knew that you didn’t have eyes for me...

I’ve got a fire and it burns in me, it takes me back to the very day I was with you there.
I’ve got a fire and it burns in me, I knew back then it was clear to see that I was running scared.

Anemophobia Part II lyrics - Deaf Havana

I took a boat the other day
And I felt like things had changed
The calm of open water
Numbed my nerves away
But the clouds are coming in
And I felt my body shiver
I guess it's just my trigger
To revert to darker days

I still worry about the weather
But not as much as I used to
I think I'm getting better
Or maybe growing up
I know I'm growing old
'Cause the cracks begin to show
When I wonder where did twenty-five years go

I see it now
It's not what I need
'Cause a saving grace
Never came along for me
I see it now
And I'm asking for help
And only I can fix myself
I see it now

I feel so ashamed some times
'Cause I'm a privileged man
With a privileged life
My friends have suffered tragedy
And terminal disease
Yet they still laugh about the bad
Because the good is all they see

I see it now
It's not what I need
'Cause a saving grace
Never came along for me
I see it now
But I'm asking for help
'Cause only I can fix myself
I see it now
I see it now

I'm not quite there
I remember names and faces
But I haven't got away from this place
Maybe it's for the better
Maybe I'm just better off this way

Sickago lyrics - Deaf Havana

I've been down too long
Dragging this out
And put it all down to shame
I've been smothered in doubt
And I've only got myself to blame
Spent a year unsure
What I started this for
Could've sworn it was to get away
And I question myself every other fucking day

Cause I've been trying
To find a way to begin
Cause I know you been
Yeah I know you've been dying
To get under my skin

I was sure if I let it all out
And put myself on the page
I could get in your head
And start to make room for change
But now I see that it's really just me
Who cares what I've got to say
And I question myself every other fucking day

Cause I've been trying
To find a way to begin
Cause I know you been
Yeah I know you've been dying
To get under my skin yeah

Wishing for someone else's life
Instead of living mine
I need a little time
I've been wishing for someone else's life
Instead of living mine
I need a little time

Cause I've been trying
To find a way to begin yeah
Cause I know you been
Yeah I know you've been dying
To get under my skin yeah

"Old Souls" (2013)

Boston Square lyrics - Deaf Havana

I know you met the devil once when you were young
You let him in, just to know to push away
You made it twenty one years
Before he turned you round
To giving up

We traded knowledge in
Our fields of expertise and we partied away
And you gave up on everything

Do you think you'd still want to leave now?
You always were just a stubborn kid back then.
I saw the words that you wrote down
On the back of your book in the room where we spent our days.

I remember you told me you threw
Your father's Jimmy Nail CD
Out of the window of his car
It didn't get you very far, in his good books
Because I know when you got home
He bent your spine over the back of a kitchen chair
You lost so many days in there

I thought I saw your reflection
In the window of a passing car
But I guess I was wrong
All I am is wrong these days

Lights lyrics - Deaf Havana

I moved out West to the house where I spent my childhoods' first few years.
The city don't treat me well these days and it shows,
Through the lines on my face and the bags I carry under my eyes.
I found comfort in change and the clear air of the countryside.

And I've tried, tried my best to change my ways.
And I've hoped, hoped it would bring better days.
But the thoughts in my mind never felt more than okay.
Yeah the thoughts in my mind, they never felt more than okay.

I went 6000 miles through 8 different time zones to the other side of the globe,
Where the words that they spoke were so far from my native tongue
Here the streets overflow and the flashing lights scramble my mind
And the change in the time, just makes my sleeping harder to find.

And I've tried, tried my best to change my ways.
And I've hoped, hoped it would bring better days.
But the thoughts in my mind never felt more than okay.
Yeah the thoughts in my mind, they never felt more than okay.

In all of my years I've never been so far from home,
My surroundings will change but I can't help from feeling alone.
No, I can't help from feeling alone.
No, I can't help from feeling alone.
No, I can't help from feeling alone.
No, I can't help from feeling alone.

And I've tried, tried my best to change my ways.
And I've hoped, hoped it would bring better days.
But the thoughts in my mind never felt more than okay.
Yeah the thoughts in my mind, they never felt more than okay.

Everybody's Dancing And I Want To Die lyrics - Deaf Havana

I had a plan at 10 years old
To try my best do as I'm told
But that don't catch the pretty peoples' eye
I didn't have the coolest hair
The newest clothes or the richest parents
So I sat alone as the pretty girls walked by
I tried my best at making jokes
Only to trip over my words and choke
So I ran back home and stayed inside my room
I swore I'd never go back alive
Shallow talk breeds shallow minds
But that was just a jealous boy's excuse

'Cause everybody's dancing and I don't feel the same
This room is full of people who barely know my name
And I don't feel like dancing on my own again
Another year without a friend
Another year when I just close my eyes and dance inside my head

With age comes insecurity
Embarrassment and tragedy,
Increasing fear of growing old lonely.
I said I'd put on my dancing shoes
But I've got two left feet and no good moves
And the pretty girls found cooler kids than me.
So I sat and waited patiently until the day I'd finally be asked,
But it never came, no, it never came!

'Cause everybody's dancing and I don't feel the same
This room is full of people who barely know my name
And I don't feel like dancing on my own again
Another year without a friend
Another year when I just close my eyes and dance inside my head

And I found it hard to take some time out of the days that I spent wishing I could be
Anyone but me

'Cause everybody's dancing and I don't feel the same
This room is full of people who barely know my name
'Cause everybody's dancing and I don't feel the same
This room is full of people who barely know my name
And I don't feel like dancing on my own again
Another year without a friend
Another year when I just close my eyes and dance inside my (head)
Another year when I just close my eyes and dance inside my head

Subterranean Bullshit Blues lyrics - Deaf Havana (feat. Grace Barrett)

Empty days and emptier nights always lead me to find
I'm waking up on the floor still coughing up blood,
Is it worth it?
But one more night won't hurt nearly as much as the pain in my side.
Because I can truly be whoever I want with this as my disguise

All I know is I'm wasting my time.
Yeah, all I know is I'm wasting my time.
Belief is getting harder to find,
Cause all I know is I'm wasting my time.

I look forward to the day I can say
"Look what I've done with my life, aren't you proud..."
But until that day comes I'll keep holding on for an easy way out.

All I know is I'm wasting my time.
Yeah, all I know is I'm wasting my time.
Belief is getting harder to find,
Cause all I know is I'm wasting my time.

As I get older my future hasn't got any clearer to me
Looking with eyes found at the bottom of a glass is the only way I can see

Empty days and emptier nights always lead me to find
I'm waking up on the floor still coughing up blood,
Is it worth it?

All I know is I'm wasting my time.
Yeah, all I know is I'm wasting my time.
Belief is getting harder to find,
Cause all I know is I'm wasting my time.
All I know is I'm wasting my time.
Yeah, all I know is I'm wasting my time.
Belief is getting harder to find,
Cause all I know is I'm wasting my time.

Night Drives lyrics - Deaf Havana

Twelve long weeks and I've thought myself into this hole,
Just like I always do
With your glass green eyes and your deep blue soul.
In the morning you say, it won't mean anything
And it doesn't break my heart, it just wears it out
And I want to tell you everything but I'm too proud.

I guess the truth is I'm as lost as I was before
And I swear, I swear that I really believed it all.
When you said that you wouldn't forget anymore.
I wrote this song for you to see that nothing else
Really meant as much to me.

Now you've been drinking again and I've barely slept.
Wasting days in a wasted haze with all the promises unkept.
I took a trip back to my old hometown
Where it's harder to remember your name.
I searched the streets and the bottles and bars for an escape,
But nothing has changed and it's still the same.

I guess the truth is I'm as lost as I was before
And I swear, I swear that I really believed it all.
When you said that you wouldn't forget anymore.
I wrote this song for you to see that nothing else
Really meant as much to me.

Thinking back on those late night drives
And all those lonely August lies,
You'll still be the one to take me home
Cause God knows your eyes are the only ones I've ever known.

I guess the truth is I'm as lost as I was before
And I swear, I swear that I really believed it all.
When you said that you wouldn't forget anymore.
I wrote this song for you to see that nothing else
Really meant as much to me.

22 lyrics - Deaf Havana

I opened my eyes this morning
Feeling like I'd died the night before
What did I drink and how I am still lying here?
It's days like these I miss my friends the most
And end up feeling like a ghost
I check my pulse to make sure I'm still alive

Yeah, nobody but you
Can make me feel this old at 22
Yeah, nobody but you
Can make me feel this old at 22

I fall in love with every city then my stomach aches for days
Because I'm somewhere between happy and okay
With Springsteen in my headphones singing mockingly away
Oh Brucey baby, I've seen better days
These are not better days

Yeah, nobody but you
Can make me feel this old at 22
Yeah, nobody but you
Can make me feel this old at 22

Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I do this to myself?

Yeah, nobody but you
Can make me feel this old
Yeah, nobody but you
Can make me feel this old at 22

Yeah, nobody but you
Can make me feel this old at 22
Yeah, nobody but you
Can make me feel this old at 22

Speeding Cars lyrics - Deaf Havana

I saw death in the bottom of white hill road,
Careless try for a suicide note,
I turned around and I closed my eyes,
But the speeding cars never did collide,
Yeah the speeding cars never did collide

When did I get so lost inside my head,
I'm only 22, but I'm going on dead,
So I put my faith in my grandmother's god,
Piece by piece just lose all I've got,
Yeah piece by piece just lose all I've got

It's been a bad few weeks,
But I'm still hoping I,
Can get back on my feet,
I just need a little time,
Because my mother told me to loosen up and stop living in my head,
It's been a bad few weeks,
So I'll just drive myself to sleep instead

I think I left my mind somewhere near the line,
I stain these walls with the blood from my hands,
And I don't sleep since I got home,
I fear the night will take me for all that I own

Because I view my life through a telescope,
That I built from a bottle on a slippery slope,
You see I can't dream to save my life,
But I'm holding on for a day that I might

It's been a bad few weeks,
But I'm still hoping I,
Can get back on my feet,
I just need a little time,
Because my mother told me to loosen up and stop living in my head,
It's been a bad few weeks,
So I'll just drive myself to sleep instead

Because I'm overweight, overtired, and sick of trying to find,
An answer in these darkened city bars,
In the backrooms where we lose our hope,
The drinks that turn good men to ghosts,
In the end we're all left wondering who we are

I saw a death at the bottom of white hill road,
A careless try for a suicide note

It's been a bad few weeks,
But I'm still hoping I,
Can get back on my feet,
I just need a little time,
Because my mother told me to loosen up and stop living in my head,
It's been a bad few weeks,
So I'll just drive myself to sleep instead

I saw a death at the bottom of white hill road,
A careless try for a suicide note.

Saved lyrics - Deaf Havana

I had a plan, you'd had enough of working late
So I took my mother's car and the last money I saved.
Blind to our tactless egos, the world was ours to take
We had it figured out, yeah, we had it figured out.
We were saved

You came from a good home, and a family that helped you through.
Forever in the shadow of a brother you felt you could never live up to.
And I watched you tailor yourself to satisfy the mood,
I had you figured out, yeah, I had you figured out.

But now you lie awake,
And you curse the world for all of your mistakes
Well, you should have known that you'd fuck it up some day
And you try to wish your careless heart away
But it's not enough, it's not enough
You won't be saved

We grew apart, when I had to leave for foreign shores
It seems that the plan I had worked out better than I thought
I swear you resented all the opportunities I had
So you filled that hole with women and alcohol

But now you lie awake
And you curse the world for all of your mistakes
Well, you should have known that you'd fuck it up some day
And you try to wish your careless heart away
It's not enough, it's not enough
No, you won't be saved, no, no

You're just a child in your father's eyes
Now with a child of your own
Oh, oh, how you've grown

But now you lie awake
And you curse the world for all of your mistakes
Well, you should have known that you'd fuck it up some day
And you try to wish your careless heart away
But it's not enough, no, no, no, no
You won't be saved

Mildred lyrics - Deaf Havana

Has it really been three years since we chose that name?
And sat in each other's rooms with our guitars and dreams of fame.
We used to stay up and plan our lives to the sound of your worn LPs.
And drink through 'til the morning light against the backdrop of the sea.

It just seems, seems like we lost a friend
It feels like the end.
It feels like the end.
Now it just seems, seems like we lost a friend.
It feels like the end.
It feels like the end.

And now you're away in the city, I'm still here by the sea
And you work in a relentless job, while you should still be free
Without the noose of maturity hung around your neck
There's the weight of an old-age man in the sound of your every step.

It just seems, seems like we lost a friend
It feels like the end.
It feels like the end.
Now it just seems, seems like we lost a friend.
It feels like the end.
It feels like the end.

When I last stepped inside your house (inside your house)
We stayed up 'til the early hours (the early hours)
But you looked to me and said, 'I can't' (said, 'I can't')
'We're sudden strangers', but I swore that I was still the same

It just seems, seems like we lost a friend
It feels like the end.
It feels like the end.
Now it just seems, seems like we lost a friend.
It feels like the end.
It feels like the end.

Tuesday People lyrics - Deaf Havana

Nothing like you wish you were,
Your name is the only thing you're really sure of,
Sitting on the wrong side of 25.
You keep your problems buried oh so deep
Then wonder why you wake up crying,
At least the pain means you're alive.

Cause it's been months and you've had time
To face what you've been running from, running from
Yeah it's been months and you can't find
A reason why you're holding on, holding on.

Before you went away you said you thought
You'd try your hand at being a writer,
After all could it really be
Worse than waking up on Tuesday mornings
to sign away your pride for money?
At least you'd have your dignity
Yet all the while your mind is drifting back
To all those nights when you were happy,
Or at least you thought you were.
But nothing here can take away the years you wasted
Thinking you weren't lonely,
Or alone if you prefer

Cause it's been months and you've had time
To face what you've been running from, running from
Yeah it's been months and you can't find
A reason why you're holding on, holding on.

If all you wanted was somebody to hear you out,
To chase away the empty nights of fear and doubts.
Running away won't answer any of your prayers,
But you're praying, yeah you're praying.
But who are you praying to?
Is it the God you stopped believing it when he abandoned you?

Cause it's been months and you've had time
To face what you've been running from, running from
Yeah it's been months and you can't find
A reason why you're holding on.

But you're praying, yeah you're praying.
But you're praying, yeah you're praying.
But you're praying, yeah you're praying.
But you're praying, yeah you're praying.
But you're praying.

Kings Road Ghosts lyrics - Deaf Havana

I drove my car along the old bus route to my parents house today
And on my way I saw the places I once loved begin to fade
The recreation grounds I knew so well have been replaced
With worn out football pitches, tennis courts and empty space

I miss the days I used to know, I had a place
Where all the friends I thought I loved, weren't far away
Before I lost my way and these streets still knew my name
I miss the days I knew I had a place, a place in everything

Now there are ghosts in the eyes of the checkout girls and the boys that run the bars
Who 5 years ago were aspiring artists or poets with guitars
We wore our hearts so far down our sleeves that we lost them day to day
But this place, isn't the same you see
And these streets, don't feel like home to me

I miss the days I used to know, I had a place
Where all the friends I thought I loved, weren't far away
Before I lost my way and these streets still knew my name
I miss you days I knew I had a place, a place in everything

I parked the car and made my way down closer to the sea.
I inhaled the summer breeze and I felt free.
I forgot how much I missed the way, the sun lit up the east coast bays
And made the north sea come alive, and at night we'd pass the lighthouse by
On the our way to drown ourselves in illegal wine.
And we'd stay awake til the morning cars went by,
With nothing but a bus fare and a smile
And I couldn't help but smile.

Caro Padre lyrics - Deaf Havana

I arrived on time, in my mother's arms
And a name I didn't choose.
I was blinded by the white of the hospital,
And in that moment I was pure and absolute.
Little did I know the moment died when it was young,
When my father taught me half of right and wrong.
He washed his hands of trust and left us penniless
Before my brain had chance to learn his foreign tongue

Even though I feel like I'm alright,
Part of me is missing when I close my eyes.
It's clear that you shine through me
In every mistake that can't be undone.
As I'm getting older, oh it's clear what I've become.

I am my father's son.
I am my father's son.
It's clear what I've become.
I am my father's son.

I do more than just share your name,
I can feel your blood running through my veins.
Because the lying, the cheating, the stealing
Oh it's transferred through.
To me, from you.

Even though I feel like I'm alright,
Part of me is missing when I close my eyes.
It's clear that you shine through me
In every mistake that can't be undone.
As I'm getting older, oh it's clear what I've become.

I am my father's son.
I am my father's son.
It's clear what I've become.
I am my father's son.

All of the months and the years that have gone by,
You never once could find the time to tell me why.
In all of the months and the years we've gone through,
I tried my best to be myself but ended up turning into you.

My father's son, my father's son.
No, it's clear what I've become.
Because I am my father's son.
No, it's clear what I've become.

"Fools And Worthless Liars" (2011)

The Past Six Years lyrics - Deaf Havana

These days my friends aren't who they used to be
We were all sinners and drunks but now they're too mature for me
Because Mike's on daytime radio and Jon played Reading and Leeds
But I'm still playing The Purple Turtle on new years eve

We are sick and we are tired
We're all fools and worthless liars
Young and unemployable
lonely, drunk and beautiful
we are sick and we're so tired.
So tired.

Through these cynical, old, bitter eyes, The future's hard to see
These songs do not mean half as much as they should do to me
Because I made plans of being more than just that band
Who had that song about friends and not much else

We are sick and we are tired
We're all fools and worthless liars
Young and unemployable
Lonely, drunk and beautiful
We are sick and we're so tired.
So tired.

I'm not getting any younger
My bones aren't getting any stronger
My breath won't last for that much longer.

We are sick and we are tired
We're all fools and worthless liars
Young and unemployable
Lonely, drunk and beautiful
We are sick and we're so tired.
So tired.

Youth In Retrospect lyrics - Deaf Havana

Oh retrospect, It’s a curse we can’t prevent
And the days we loved the most have all been spent
We smoked ourselves to an early grave and ended with a fight
Then I walked for miles and slept next to the bus shelter that night

There’s a ghost down every street
In the places where we used to meet
Fifteen years I miss you far too much
There’s a ghost down every street
In the places where we found out feet
Fifteen years was always old enough so here’s to growing up

We were the kings and queens of the east coast village streets
With an air of confidence and grass stained knees
And the nights were always long and our inhibitions gone

There’s a ghost down every street
In the places where we used to meet
Fifteen years I miss you far too much
There’s a ghost down every street
In the places where we found out feet
Fifteen years was always old enough
Three cheers for growing up

But we moved away and we left they days where we were never tired.

There’s a ghost down every street
In the places where we used to meet
Fifteen years I miss you far too much
There’s a ghost down every street
In the places where we found out feet
Fifteen years was always old enough so here’s to growing up

Here’s to growing up and giving in

I Will Try lyrics - Deaf Havana

So I guess the table's turned
for the first time I can't find the words
to apologise for all the poor decisions and the lessons that I never learned.
'cause I've got friends that have lost their father and they're much stronger than me
I know people who live their lives in the shadow that they're trying to be

And I will try my best to find a smile
And I will close my eyes and say I'm not afraid

And it's time that I was clear of all the negativity that I hold so dear
I lost my sight for far too long to take my mind off all my fears
but I found my way again

And I will try my best to find a smile
And I will close my eyes and say I'm not afraid

We will try our best to find a smile
and we will close our eyes and say we're not afraid
We will try our best to find a smile
and we will close our eyes and say we're not afraid
this time

I need to set aside my ways
And figure out all the things I have to change.

Little White Lies lyrics - Deaf Havana (feat. Portia Conn)

Lately I’ve been wondering how these words would sound
If they were sung out loud instead of written down
Because this could be a letter, if I could find the pen and paper,
To tell you how I’ll only let you down

If I had any heart left, I’d give it all to you
To make up for the time spent not telling the truth

Now all the hours weeks and months just seem to merge right into one
I lost track of where I’d been
Cause I’ve been ch-ch-chasing my own tail and running in circles for so long
I need to find myself again

[2x]
If I had any heart left, I’d give it all to you
To make up for the time spent not telling the truth

'Cause I’ve compiled a list of all the places I wanna see before I die
But I know I won’t

I always dream too much and never sleep enough
I’m still a liar, I think I'll always be, I'll always

[Portia Conn 2x]
If I had any heart left, I’d give it all to you
To make up for the time spent not telling the truth

If I had any heart left, I’d give it all to you
To make up for the time I spent

Anemophobia lyrics - Deaf Havana

I worry about the weather and the pressure in my head
And how my lungs can’t find the oxygen to form a single breath
That doesn’t get caught in my throat with all the words I couldn’t say
I pray that things are getting better…

I still worry about the weather and I’m sick to death of rain
And these panic attacks do nothing for my tired and swollen brain
My days aren’t getting better, I’m still numbing all the pain
I lost my mind and all my hope in feeling fine again

I’m holding out for a saving grace to show me the error of my ways
I really need a change
I’m not a pessimist but sometimes hope is missed or missing
I haven’t felt so fucking drained. I need a break

I caught a glimpse of my reflection and didn’t recognise my face
I left an note at home explaining how I’m sorry that I left
I just needed to be alone for a while to realise that I’m a mess
I pray that things are better but I won’t hold my breath.

I’m holding out for a saving grace to show me the error of my ways
I really need a change
I’m not a pessimist but sometimes hope is missed or missing
I haven’t felt so fucking drained. I need a break

I’m not quite there but I’m on my way
I’m still forgetting names and faces, I need to get away from this place
Because my outlook’s changed along with how I speak
I’m really not the same as I used to be
I’m always living in my head and I can’t remember when I last felt alive.

I’m holding out for a saving grace to show me the error of my ways
I really need a change
I’m not a pessimist but sometimes hope is missed or missing
I haven’t felt so fucking drained. I need a break

I'm A Bore, Mostly lyrics - Deaf Havana

I spent most of my days neither sleeping nor awake
Watching pointless documentaries on tornadoes and earthquakes
Coffee keeps me going though It fuels my wandering mind
Wishing I was Kurt Cobain or Morrissey
It takes up most of my time
It shows with me losing my voice, it always seems a chore
My faith in music slowly disappearing more and more
These tattoos on my hands are there for life
And the songs inside my head won’t come out right

The times are changing, we can go anywhere
But we’re far too cool to admit that here
The times are changing, we can go anywhere
But I’m stuck in my ways and I won’t change

So I try to drag my fragile frame through another day
And another dose of caffeine in my veins
My body aches and my mouth is full of sores
And I’ve reached the verdict that mostly, I’m a bore.

The times are changing, we can go anywhere
But we’re far too cool to admit that here
The times are changing, we can go anywhere
But I’m stuck in my ways and I won’t change

The times are changing, we can go anywhere
But we’re far too cool to admit that here
The times are changing, we can go anywhere
But I’m stuck in my ways and I won’t change

Hunstanton Pier lyrics - Deaf Havana

It was 2004 if I’m not mistaken when the poison hit my lips and I haven’t looked back since
I had friends back then and a PMA to match
We were young and out of touch with the things we’d grow to hate so much in time

Back when my hair was long and Phil was still alive
We spent our days trying to speak to the girls who made us weak
But now I’m aging badly and my friend’s been laid to rest
And the ones who let us in are pushing prams or raising twins

To tell you the truth I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hate the city
I need the pier and the fresh sea air of the town that made me who I am

In my heart and in my soul are all the people I have known
And the places I’ve called home
But in my head and in my mind they’re all just places that I left behind
Reminders of the changing times and these aging bones of mine.

Lee and me were schooled in a tourist town
With less culture than Jeremy Kyle
But it stole our hearts for a while
And most weekends I found nothing but regret
Between many a drunk girl’s legs and in many a strangers bed.

To tell you the truth I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hate the city
I need the pier and the fresh sea air of the town that made me who I am

In my heart and in my soul are all the people I have known
And the places I’ve called home
But in my head and in my mind they’re all just places that I left behind
Reminders of the changing times and these aging bones of mine.

The ones who haven’t died or started families
Are all just working on building sites or battling with university fees
And a girl I used to know made me a promise once
I wonder if she kept it or if she even remembers it?

In my heart and in my soul are all the people I have known
And the places I’ve called home
But in my head and in my mind they’re all just places that I left behind
Reminders of the changing times and these aging bones of mine.

Filthy Rotten Scoundrel lyrics - Deaf Havana

Every day's the same for me
People come and people leave
And every day's a game for me
I'm always losing willingly
I keep telling myself, keep telling myself to be grateful
But that's not good for my health, not good for my health

Maybe my expectations let me down and I'm too far off the ground
And I don't know what I've got 'til it's gone
No I don't know what I've got 'til it's gone

When I'm old and lonely I don't want my life to read:
He was born and then he died and not much happened in between

Maybe my expectations let me down and I'm too far off the ground
And I don't know what I've got 'til it's gone
No I don't know what I've got 'til it's gone

So I'll work my way through outer space and set my feet on the ground

Maybe my expectations let me down and I'm too far off the ground
And I don't know what I've got 'til it's gone
No I don't know what I've got 'til it's gone

Times Change, Friends Leave And Life Doesn't Stop For Anybody lyrics - Deaf Havana

You truly are your mother’s son
Raised on praise, doctors’ appointments and getting what you want
Your school years passed you by without a scratch
Your father’s pride, good intentions and your mother’s loving hands

Being young at heart became a sin, so you grew up and you gave in

Remember when you said, all you wanted was to be where we are today
I remember when you said that you’d be in this with us ‘til the very end.

Peacefully we watch you slip away
In the depths of your drugs and the mistress on whose mental state you’d prey
If she was the spark to ignite that flame, then we were the floods
When the fires came but she held the torches high got you that day

Remember when you said, all you wanted was to be where we are today
I remember when you said that you’d be in this with us ‘til the very end.
My dear old friend

Leeches lyrics - Deaf Havana

You started staring at the walls again
And the pictures turned back into empty frames
Your sense will go before your looks leave you
And in time the ones you love will leave you too

Dreams are not how they seemed back when you were young
You lost your way and you couldn’t overcome
The times you’d hide what’s been building up inside
Cause dreams aren’t how they seemed when you were young

I saw the colours drained from your veins through the teeth of leeches

Dreams are not how they seemed back when you were young
You lost your way and you couldn’t overcome
The times you’d hide what’s been building up inside
Cause dreams aren’t how they seemed when you were young

No they’re not what they used to be

The World Or Nothing lyrics - Deaf Havana

The street lights hurt my eyes,
More than usual tonight.
No sense of direction, my vision's blurred,
I think I'll lay down for a while.

But I don't have a bed of my own,
Just a space on someone else's.
No I don't have a bed of my own,
Just a space on someone else's, or at least for now.

I swallow up the hungry streets, the thirsty back alleys,
The more I try to find my faith the more the city mocks me.
And the fags that filled my lungs, the alcohol burns into my skin,
And I feel so tired and scared about everything.

And I clip my wings just for an excuse,
For not putting myself to better use.
We all care too much over not caring enough,
Because we're all too scared to leave behind our youth.

We're a self-destructive generation
Those obituaries will be,
Due to excessive boredom, the body gave in,
To liver failure and heart disease it seems.

And I clip my wings just for an excuse,
For not putting myself to better use.
We all care too much over not caring enough,
Because we're all too scared to leave behind our youth.

To tell you the truth I'm just scared,
But at least I'm not alone.

At least I'm not alone.

And we'll sing 'til we can't speak,
And we'll sing 'til we believe.
And we'll sing 'til we can't speak,
And we'll sing 'til we believe.

I will sing 'til we can't speak,
We'll all sing until we believe

Nelson's County lyrics - Deaf Havana

Well my boy I think it’s safe to say
Those tired eyes have seen better days
And if you could get it together
And step away from the stale routine you hate

I know you can do better than this
So get out the rut you’re in
And even though it seems like a sensible thing
In my eyes you’re giving in.

Oh it’s in the way you move your feet
Like someone cursed these dead end streets
To make you work, reside and one day die
In the same town you spent most of your life

I know you can do better than this
So get out the rut you’re in
And even though it seems like a sensible thing
In my eyes you’re giving in.

Fifty Four lyrics - Deaf Havana

Dear you know I fear I'm growing weak
I left you in the dark for a bottle and cheap company
You took me home, gave me a bed or half of yours at least
And my god that was good enough for me

I'll keep holding on because we are young and we are free
And my god that's still good enough for me

I'll keep holding on because we are young and we are free
And my god that's still good enough for me

We'd sleep until the evening sun had burnt
And lay awake until the neighbors left next morning for work
The first time that we slept I felt my life rewind
And a nervous child replaced the ageing fool I left behind

I'll keep holding on because we are young and we are free
And my god that's still good enough for me

I'll keep holding on because we are young and we are free
And my god that's still good enough for me

You put your faith in me and I let you down
You put your faith in me and I let you down
You put your faith in me and I let you down
But I feel so sure, I feel so

I'll keep holding on because we are young and we are free
And my god that's still good enough for me

I'll keep holding on because we are young and we are free
And my god that's still good enough for me (still good enough for me)

I'll keep holding on because we are young and we are free
And my god that's still good enough for me

I'll keep holding on because we are young and we are free
And my god that's still good enough for me

"Meet Me Halfway, At Least" (2009)

This Town Is Ours lyrics - Deaf Havana

I'm gonna tell you right now
We're gonna make it in this town
And when our eyes are heavy
We're gonna keep it steady
All our sights are set on the above
When the push comes to the shove
We have such divine inhibitions
I'm gonna tell you and you will listen

And for what it's worth
It sure as hell ain't worth a lot

We're gonna keep sleeping on these rooftops
And you'll never get us down, and you'll never get me down
We're gonna keep singing all our own songs
And you'll never get us down, and you'll never get me down

We're gonna stay like this forever
Because the more friends that you have the better
I'm gonna let you know the whole truth
That it ain't worth nothing without the proof
Your face was all so terribly priceless
And i'm ever so sorry I missed this
I know you didn't mean it
But ill settle for a smile as long as you clean it

And for what its worth
It sure as hell ain't worth a lot

We're gonna keep sleeping on these rooftops
And you'll never get us down, and you'll never get me down
We're gonna keep singing all our own songs
And you'll never get us down, and you'll never get me down
We'll keep singing all our own songs

We're gonna keep sleeping on these rooftops
And you'll never get us down, and you'll never get me down
We're gonna keep singing all our own songs
And you'll never get us down, and you'll never get me down

Friends Like These lyrics - Deaf Havana

I got this feeling that we're gonna be allright
I know we're gonna be allright
the kids are alive and kicking, running for their lives
we've just been getting by on stupidly good looks
and spending time spitting out these stupidly good hooks

you'll never know friends like these
and you'll never know, you'll never know

remember these places of being young and out of tact
drunken honesty that you could never quite take back
bring back my summer eyes, I swear I could've almost died

you'll never know friends like these
and you'll never know, you'll never know

I got this feeling that we're gonna be alright
the kids are alive and kicking, running for their lives

you'll never know friends like these
and you'll never know, you'll never know

nothing gets worse than growing up

3 Cheers For The Easy Life lyrics - Deaf Havana (feat. Gustav Wood of Young Guns)

It's only twenty hours ahead
But I'd rather be at home instead
I'll act as if I'm older, and wiser
And its not like i could ever lie to her
When she damn well knew it wasn't true

With a face that's turning a certain shade of blue

Ohh, you know I've spent so long saving you from tears
It's gotten far too easy to fake that smile
Ohh, you know nothing can bring back these twenty years
It's gotten far too easy to fake that smile

And we will love each other tonight

Now she's forever dead and gone
But I'll always be remembering her song
And her lungs can no longer hold her heavy heart
But one more smile would have been a good start

With a face that's turning a certain shade of blue

Ohh, you know I've spent so long saving you from tears
It's gotten far too easy to fake that smile
Ohh, you know nothing can bring back these twenty years
It's gotten far too easy to fake that smile

And she still said, I'll be forever whispering in your ear
Another gentle lie of this is not the sun

We all sat down and we all sang,
Whoa, and we'll keep this alive until the day that we die

We all sat down and we all sang,
Whoa, and we'll keep this alive until the day that we die

Ohh, you know I've spent so long saving you from tears
It's gotten far too easy to fake that smile
Ohh, you know nothing can bring back these twenty years
It's gotten far too easy to fake that smile

The day that we die

Nicotine And Alcohol Saved My Live lyrics - Deaf Havana

Dear brother,
I have never asked this much of you
Could you please just take my other
And show them how much I care

Hiding under the blanket behind the chair
There's something that screams this seems so unfair
But we're all gonna feel better tomorrow
And that's a feeling that you can only borrow
Just take a deep breath
And take in the air of a lifelong nightmare

I would never last a day without you
(We'll just have to learn to forget about this)
But I'd do anything to take it back
(We'll just have to learn to forget about this)

We'll just have to learn to forget about this

I'm not changing my mind with the seasons
Because winter has broken, and I'll be the first one to lose my head

Tie me to a broken eyelid itched with razors
My dear brother is bound up in cages and rages
Nothing will ever get worse than this right now
Because a deep breath is out of reach somehow

We'll just have to learn to forget about this

I'm not changing my mind with the seasons
Because winter has broken, and I'll be the first one to lose my head

Because a list of difficult reasons
Just isn't enough for someone like me
For someone like me
Because I've never sold myself away to a sailor at sea

I'm not changing my mind with the seasons
Because winter has broken, and I'll be the first one to lose my head

I never had a single cigarette that I didn't enjoy
And all the dreams leave such a bitter taste,
Such a bitter taste on my tongue
Despite the smell of an old aged man, I'm young at heart
If I was to have just one more day,
I'd make sure that I spent it without you

Another Day In This House lyrics - Deaf Havana

This is my last, chance to impress
and I'll take this opportunity, to blow you away

today my senses are so high that
the scratch of my own pen on paper deafens me
until I'm bleeding from both ears
'cause today I'm attempting to take my mind away from everything
thats lead me here again

talk about skeletons in your closet
well there's a fuckin cemetery in mine
another failed attempt to withstand temptation
I'm beginning to wonder if I even tried
I'm sick of being stuck inside these four walls
for hours on end I sit and stare
I need a breath of fresh air

and I can't stand another day inside this house
it's breaking me down I'm so useless in here
and I want out

so I'll take this as my last chance to impress you
I wanna build an expectation to live up to
I wanna be more than just a consciousless face
in a crowd of people who I don't care for

and I can't stand another day inside this house
it's breaking me down I'm so useless in here
and I want out

and I can't stand another day inside this house
I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it in this house
and after all that we've been through i am still here for you

and I can't stand another day inside this house
I said I want out

and I can't stand another day inside this house
it's breaking me down I'm so useless in here
and I want out
(talk about skeletons in your closet
well theres a fuckin cemetery in mine)

Waves lyrics - Deaf Havana

Coming of age, after you blacked out my eyes
I have no light in the house of day
it's far too much to take after it's come to this
I can't just turn back the page anymore
I can't just turn back the page anymore

and after everything that I have fought
and tried and died not to be caught
I've never felt so alone
just because you don't know, you're not letting go

but you still stop the beat in my chest
and it's something that I could have guessed
but you still stop the beat in my chest
and I'll be more than happy to take the rest

no longer will I see myself this way
there is no light in this house of day
I feel the sun, but I can't find the warmth
I belong on the other side of this town
where I can feel loved, away from you
I have conscious, but I'll see this night through
by morning I'll have to never see you again
just because you don't know, you're not letting go

but you still stop the beat in my chest
and it's something that I could have guessed
but you still stop the beat in my chest
and I'll be more than happy to take the rest

as I climb my way back up your nails
as they clasp on to your dying finger
and I'll come away, from everything
with your name on my arm like a trophy

just because you don't know, you're not letting go

you're not letting go
and after all this guilt

Ice Doesn't Help The Uncoordinated lyrics - Deaf Havana

There's a line in the bath, and I'm sure as hell gonna cross it
you can't live your life without it, it's too much to ask I doubt it
and we can shiver in the river
without a backdrop, or a memory of how things could have been

and I don't wanna be there, when you get yourself here
just gonna give up the ghost, 'cause he's a fuckin great host

the glass to your right, will be kept well out of sight
we need to get things straight, so my jaw can drop in awe
were too tired, way too tired
stumble back across the floor, 'cause persistence is an eye-sore

and now I'm losing you, and I can't stand losing two
it's too bad we gotta sit this one out
I always knew, what I planned for you
'cause I'm a winner, and there's nothing to prove

I've been carrying you for far too long
and this won't be the first time, I'm gonna let this go
one more time, can you pull yourself from a dirty word
not everyone here can really care to grow

and now I'm losing you, and I cant stand losing two
it's too bad we gotta sit this one out
I always knew, what I planned for you
'cause I'm a winner, and there's nothing to prove

we're too tired, we're too tired

and now I'm losing you, and I can't stand losing two
it's too bad we gotta sit this one out
I always knew, what I planned for you
'cause I'm a winner, and there's nothing to prove

we're too tired, we're too tired

You Are Beautiful lyrics - Deaf Havana

Where have you been

the smell of loneliness and the heartache
of distance is all we have left
and when your dress hits the floor it's obvious,
it's been well kept, it's obvious

'cause waiting for what seems a fuckin lifetime for a night with you

because I belong to you
and you are beautiful
I know your heart is full
and you are beautiful

when we crash down, on these well abandoned bed sheets
we'll settle down, as hands begin to wonder and fingers start to creep
this house we made, is just enough to keep us warm

'cause waiting for what seems a fuckin lifetime for a night with you

because I belong to you
and you are beautiful
I know your heart is full
and you are beautiful

and how could I ever leave you behind
with a distance as close as this
and how could I ever leave you behind
with a distance as perfect as this

because I belong to you
and you are beautiful
I know your heart is full
and you are beautiful

and I could never leave you behind

Right Now, I'm Anyone's lyrics - Deaf Havana (feat. Johnathon Thorne of All Forgotten)

There's been a terrible account of words
this evening is just like any other baby
except tonight I'm not so down in the dirt

I'm a hopeless romantic with good intentions
but I always fail to false accusation
it's always got me landing firmly on my feet
but I'll get you one day honey

don't make a sound, we can't afford to be heard

if you wanna come home to a bed of red roses
I'll cut my arm before the night closes
if you wanna come home to another best friend
I'll swallow viagra just to start a trend

don't make a sound, we can't afford to be heard
let's crack the bucks fizz baby 'cause you know we're gonna party tonight

and this is far too obvious, dangerous attempt
at something just a little bit more than you ever asked for
I'm successfully a fuck up and everyone seems to know

there's been a terrible account of words
this evening is just like any other baby
except tonight

don't make a sound, we can't afford to be heard
let's crack the bucks fizz baby 'cause you know we're gonna party tonight

I Guess I'll Be Leaving Soon lyrics - Deaf Havana

Yeah we sure as hell got it going on
and we sure as hell know all about it
I've yet to see the bad side
but I've been told it's there
but I don't ever feel like giving this up just yet
and to say I'm a scared is a safe bet,
and I wont let you forget
but I don't feel like ever giving this up just yet
I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up

but our knees are bruised
and our hips are fused
if we forget about it
then we could carry on without it

just look at the history on the wall
we need to just rub it out and let it fall
'cause this isn't going anywhere
break a box, and stare out away from here
don't be giving up quite just yet
there's a corner to be cut, I wont let you forget
but I don't feel like ever giving this up just yet
I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up

but our knees are bruised
and our hips are fused
if we forget about it
then we could carry on without it

just keep on saying and saying and saying
and we'll keep praying and praying and praying
that you're not forgetting about us
after all it's gonna just be lust

we're gonna need to lie
just take a left into the next riverbed

we're gonna need to lie this time
we'll be fine as long as we don't cross no line

but our knees are bruised
and our hips are fused
if we forget about it
then we could carry on without it

In Desperate Need Of Adventure lyrics - Deaf Havana

Did you honestly think I'd forget your name
but we are close to home and that's all we need
we've been driving this way now for weeks
things could be worse, things could be worse
just remember to not be selfish, keep it calm
and don't believe a single word that you ever heard about me
we'll still be driving this way now in weeks
there are cracks appearing that you'll soon see

and don't believe a single word you heard about me

the temperatures rising, it's a shame about your heartbeat
and I'm not scared that this is happening
the conversation sparks without a single pulse
but I can still see you

and don't believe a single word you heard about me

just keep it slow, don't ever let him know
that even though, I actually meant something I wrote

no I'm not scared that this is happening
well the conversation sparks without a pulse
without a single light, I can still see you
keeping it together for the best of it
I wish we could still sit and drink the night away
it's been a while since we smoked our last cigarettes
and we both kissed and we both agreed that we were alright

just keep it slow, don't ever let him know
that even though, I actually meant something I wrote

and don't believe a single word you heard about me

just keep it slow, don't ever let him know
that even though, I actually meant something I wrote

I actually meant something I said

EP: "It's Called The Easy Life" (2008)

This Afternoon Was A Total Disaster lyrics - Deaf Havana

Believe me I never trusted you,
when you decided that our party was over.
Because we love the power hour,
and its an hour that lasts all night baby .

I didn't play a single part in this I swear
I didn't play a single part in this I swear

My position comes at a price.
The temper's worse but the compliments are nice.
You've already had one foot out the door
for quite some time and I'm already losing sleep

We've been making this whole thing up,
as we've been going along and along!
Yeah, we've been making this whole thing up,
as we've been going along and along!

from now on you'll never go back to sea
you'll just be rolling around in the dirt
because your of a higher class than me

We've been making this whole thing up,
as we've been going along and along!
Yeah, we've been making this whole thing up,
as we've been going along and along!

and I didn't play a single part in this I swear
and I didn't play a single part in this I swear
and I didn't play a single part in this I swear
and I didn't play a single part in this I swear

I'm not all fucking right with this
I'm not all fucking right with this

and then I'm told by the snorting acquaintance he says
cut your losses man its time to leave
and then I'm told by the snorting acquaintance he says
cut your losses man its time to leave
but now its only a matter of time until its too late